Fear, Love,

"I WRITE OF THEN, HOPING TO BETTER UNDERSTAND NOW." (Terry Kay, The Runaway)- When visiting my maternal grandmother, she used fear tactics to keep me from wandering off. She would say if I go outside the fence someone might get me. If a thunder storm came along she would put us in the bed room with window shutters closed to keep the lightening from hitting us. On the other hand when a thunder storm came up my dad would sometimes go on the porch and watch it, while my mother would fuss at him to get back in the house. Maybe he is the reason I am not afraid of the storm, but cautious. The grandmother issue as affected me since childhood. Of course understanding these fear tactics were not literally true helps me choose now not to be afraid someone will get me. I write about then and it helps me understand and deal with now….Jesus says something about knowing the truth and being free.  Somewhere is my notes I once wrote that I would hold all my thoughts and feelings accountable to truth……I am grateful for my grandmother and I know it was not her purpose to scare me but to protect me and make me aware of danger. Her love for me was what I really remember…….